Separation Anxiety

It was a very adventurous month in March.

My baby had a melt down which lasted for about 2 weeks from end March till beginning April.

She refused to go to school and cried non-stop in the morning which lasted about 2 hours each day.

She came out with creative excuse like leg pain, tummy ache, not feeling well all over, or friends not refused to play with her or she couldn't write or follow teachers instructions.

I gotta send and fetch her from school as her daddy couldnt manage her.

When I checked with her teachers, they said bb Rae has no learning issues, in fact she is very good and fast in learning, and is always the first to accomplish the task assigned.

We tried to reflect on what had gone wrong then I recalled that the week prior to the melt down, I brought her out during one of the weekdays to meet up with her play date friends. 

She must have thought that if she doesn't go to school, mommy would bring her out to play with her friends.

I brought her out regularly, usually once a week on a weekday to bond with her or let her meet her non-school going friends.

So as she grows, she begins to understand the concept of Time and associate school days with routine learning and non school days as play.

Her teacher advised me not to take her out so that she won't be confused over school and play during weekdays.

The teacher shared that after this period she will be alright.

Fortunately, she got over this separation anxiety after 2 weeks else it'll be tough. 

RIP Mr Lee Kuan Yew

It has been a gloomy week as Singapore mourn over our loss, our Founding PM, Mr Lee Kuan Yew's demise on 23 Match 2015 3am.

No word can describe my sadness. Tears well up and roll down my cheek whenever I thought of him.

Everyday (23 to 29 Mar 2015), the TV telecasts documentary show about this great man.  It reminded us that Singapore's success was not possible if not for this great man, we had developed from third world to first in less then half a century!

Thank you, Mr Lee Kuan Yew!

You shall be remembered and never forgotten.........

Cranky baby in school

Just now at noon time, Baby Rae's school form teacher Ms N called me to inform that bb Rae has been crying non stop since this morning and she wanted to know if anything special or unusual happened at home before she came to school.  I told the teacher, nothing extraordinary took place and she was happy when she left home for school and asked them to monitor her.

I told them it won't do her any good if I were to bring her home now as she may repeat the same in order to come home early or miss school.

Teacher said she would pacify and comfort her, and would inform me if they require me to bring her home early should the situation worsens.

RY told me that this morning while they were queuing up to have the tempreature taken at the school, a girl who was in the line cried out loud and her mom was hugging and consoling her.

He suspects that bb Rae could be affected by that girl's cries.

When baby comes home, I gotta have a good talk to her to find out what happens that make her so sad today. I hope after an afternoon nap, she'd feel better and happier.

I don't really enjoy receiving phone call from school.

It's known that "No News is Good News"!

My darling girl

Found some photo of my darling taken some time ago.

Isn't she lovely?

"Single Parenthood"

Since last year, there was a change in RY's job scope and he has to travel frequently and mostly to USA.
During his absence, I'll be the playing "single parent" to bb Rae.

There are pros and cons when RY is away.
Let's talk about pros:
1 less tedious cooking and no oily kitchen
RY is pretty fussy when it comes to food.
He doesn't like chicken except when it's cooked in curry or turmeric sauce but bb can't eat spicy stuff so I gotta grill or steam a chicken dish separately for her.
He also doesn't like repetition of dishes, so I gotta cook different variety for 6 days.
When he travels, I'd just steam or grill meat and veg dish for bb and myself, easy peasy.

2 own time own target
In the morning, RY would send bb to school and also fetch her after work.
So it's a mad rush in the morning when he doesn't inform in advance his need to go to school early for meetings.
He'd also fetch bb home anytime that suits his routine. I may be busy preparing dinner while they are back and usually bb would demand my immediate attention.
So morning and evening time are my "peaks"!
During his absence, I'd time myself to get bb ready and send her to school in the morning.
And in the evening, I'd get the necessary ingredient ready prior to fetching bb from school and only need to turn on the power switch to steam the dishes when we are home.

3 flexible weekend
When RY is home, he'd rather stay at home then being us out so all of us would stay at home to spend time together as a family.
While he is away, I'd plan outings to bring bb out to have fun either at the park or visit the local attractions like Garden by the Bay etc or do some shopping.

Now let's talk about the cons:
1 disturbed sleeps
When RY is around, he'd usually sleep late and also would wake up once or twice in the middle of the night to go toilet cum check on bb to make sure she has her blanket covered.
So when he is not around, I gotta push myself up to check on her.

2 less Me time
As I gotta send and fetch bb to/fro school, I gotta lesser time to myself.
When RY is home, he'd play with bb so I get to do other chores.
So when he is not around, I gotta play with her, cooks, cleans and feed her too.

3 Tiring
Yes, it's tiring to be "single parent" as I'm constantly need to think of activities to keep bb occupied to expel her all her energy.

Seems like the pros and cons are on par.
So like it or not, I gotta live with it as RY is currently the sole breadwinner.
My responsibility is to ensure bb eats healthy, sleep, play and grows up well so that he can concentrate in bringing back the bacon.

Happy 2015

Oh gosh, it has been many moons since I last posed in this blog.
How time flies huh?

What have I been doing? I was feeling depressed of the drifted distance between RY and me and was afraid that our relationship may turn sour. But I plucked out the courage to voice out my feeling to him and I helped as he tried to make time to chat with us, play with bb and also do a group hug prior to putting bb to sleep. So open communication is important. In Sept'14, bb's school was closed for renovation and I gotta take care of her 24/7 and I was bz planning outing and activities for her too. In Oct'14, we went to Italy for 2 weeks of vacation. Frankly speaking I didn't enjoy much as I gotta handle bb and had missed out of many commentary of the history by the tour guide of historical site. Being an active toddler, she couldn't stand or sit still so I gotta entertain her. Last December, I was bz planning a Christmas party for bb and her little friends and also her 3 year old birthday party. It was a very tiring month planning the parties. We also went to KL to celebrate Christmas with PIL and SIL's family. We celebrated CNY in Ipoh 2 weeks ago. Bb had fun bonding with her grandparents.

Love is over?

I ve read about how a couple's relationship may distance after having a baby and didnt quite comprehend until now.

Yes, I ve realised that RY and I are not as loving as before.

We only talk when he is at work via Whatsap, strange huh?

When he comes back from work, he'll lock himself in the study room (so that bb can't disturb him) to continue with his work and only come out when it's dinner time.

After dinner, he'll play with bb for a short while and then again lock himself in the study to do his own reading or does his work.

By the time I put bb to sleep, I'd also fall asleep too, so we've no chance to talk and be intimate.

We are like "acting parents", u know what I mean?

We look normal like any couple who are parents but we've no "soul", we're just there as parents for bb Rae.

I know this is dangerous .........

But really, there doesn't seem to ve any chance to communicate.

Weekends? 

Oh, his standard answer is "I just wanna do nothing at home, don't plan anything!"

So weekend will be just me and bb, I will take bb out as she goes to school daily during weekdays.

Think our love is dying ..........

When we were childless, we ve each other.

He was there when I was sad and happy.

Now, I ve bb but without him .......