I'm very sick!

I am really sick! This is the 1st time I fall sick since last June. 3 days ago I woke up with a heavy head and painful joint, I knew I had fever but I still try my best to complete the daily baby caring routine and drink as much water as I can to cool the body down. RY took half day off to relieve me from bb caring so that I can rest, he wanted to bring me to doctor but I refused as I am breast feeding and don't think I'd take any medication. By evening, my condition got worst, I started to vomit and too frail to eat or drink. I slept thru the night while RY attend to baby. The next morning, my fever subsided but I had diarrhea. I was very stubborn and refused to go to doc as I thought my body will self heal by passing out the toxins. My stomach was also churning with pain. I still ve fever on and off. By evening, the diarrhea was really bad that despite taking lomotil, it still didn't stop the diarrhea. I finally gave up and went to the doc. The doc suspected that I might ve rotavirus infection since it's like an epidemic in SG recently. He has a few patients who suffered the same as me and need to be hospitalized since normal antibiotic didnt work. I was told to go to hospital if the jab and other medication he gave me didn't stop my diarrhea the next day. I was still having mild diarrhea yesterday and RY wanted to admit me to hospital, again I refused as I need to care for my bb as I ve no help. I tried my best to rest and hydrate myself, hoping that the body will heal faster. Today is the 4th day and I sincerely hope that I'd recover well. This rotavirus is really potent, I ve lost 3kg within 3 days. The body just shut down and refused any intake of food, so I didn't eat or drink much but still diarrhea >20 times within a day. I feel really sorry for my bb that i can't attend to her fully and my milk production has significantly reduced and she not drinking enough. I am very upset and angry with myself that I fell so ill, I am everything to my baby and yet I am helpless sitting there just watching her cry as I was too weak to carry or pacify her. I must get well soon for my baby! My poor husband has to care for her on my behalf. A SAHM's (with no helper) fear is to fall sick!

Welcome to Motherhood

I'd like to welcome my friend to Motherhood! I am very happy for a friend whom I get to know thru this blog of mine that she had delivered a healthy baby girl on 22 April 2012! Just like myself, she had struggled with fertility issue for some time before this pregnancy. There are many success stories around us and I sincerely urged the many pregger hopeful out there not to give up. God listens to our sincere prayer and will grant us our wish! Just need to be patient! I am happy to make new friends thru my blog and hope that many of you will join me in this journey of Motherhood soon!

Baby Rae at 5 months 18 days old

Last Fri,we brought bb to the clinic for her last 6 in 1 vaccination jab. I was very pleased to see her measurement scale being 66cm tall and 6.7kg heavy! By right she is supposed to have her prenumocuccal jab too but we decided to defer that jab to next month for fear of high fever side effect. We did both jabs in March and resulted in fever reading of 38.5'c. She did develop fever last Fri afternoon but not that high, it was about 38'c. Despite running at a fever, she was still as playful!

Teething

My 5 months old baby is teething! She has been waking up in the middle of the night for comfort nursing. Previously, she was able to sleep thru from 10pm to 8am. Last week she also had slight fever due to teething too. I can see 2 white enamel popping out from her upper gum. I hope all her discomfort will be gone very soon and she can sleep thru the night till next morning!

Happy Mother's Day!

Today, 13 May 2012, is my First Mother's Day celebration with RY and Baby Rae! The morning was started with a surprised gift from RY, it's a choco banana cake delivered from Operation Smile! 2 weeks ago, RY ordered a cake from Project Operation Smike as my Mother's Day gift. This is very meaningful as we get to do charity while savoring the yummy cake! In the evening 5pm, RY took us to Botanic Garden to attend to a open air concert by SSO. While we enjoyed to the nice classical pieces, BB Rae fell asleep. We left the concert at 6.45pm to rush to mum's place for steam boat dinner. It was an enjoyable day since I get to spend it with my loved ones! I am looking forward to next year's Mother's Day since baby Rae will be 16 months old then!

Mommy & Baby Yoga

We started our 1st Mommy & Baby Yoga yesterday 4 May! I had wanted to practice yoga with Baby Rae, so I ve been busy researching for one which suits my timing and budget. I was lucky to find one which only cost SGD10 per class and only required 4 sets of moms and babes to form a class. I managed to gather few friends to form a class of our own. We signed up for 4 classes in May and shall see if we wanna continue in June after the 4 classes. I practiced yoga during pre Preggy days and when I was pregnant with Baby Rae, I was also doing simple yoga posture to relieve some muscle tension. But I stopped after childbirth as I was too tired and lazy from the daily child care routine. Doing yoga with baby is pretty fun! Both of us gets to exercise and play at the same time! It's good to have some interactive activity with baby to have fund together. My baby was worn out after the class that she had a 2.5 hours afternoon nap yesterday! Usually she only takes cat nap of about half hour in the afternoon. This morning when I woke up, I could feel the aching muscle due to the stretching and lifting since most if the time we need to carry baby to complete a posture. I am looking forward to next Fri lesson to learn new tricks! I hope baby Rae feels the same .....

Baby Rae is 4 Months Old!

Today 21 April 2012, Baby Rae is 4 months old!
Time flies huh!
One of the tradition to mark this important milestone is to pray to the 床头婆婆，Goddess of the Children (the Chinese believes that there is a fairy godmother who takes care of the young children). When Baby was a month old in Jan, we did the praying too.
The next time to pray will be during the 7 moon, I.e. Hungry ghost festival.
We had a pot of cooked rice and mee sua as the offering for the praying.

Later in the evening, we will get a chicken drumstick for baby to lick to fulfill one of the myth which is to ensure bb has enough to eat as she grows up.

A Breast Feeding Mom's Fear

Baby Rae is a total breast feed baby from birth till now at 3 months old.
I d like to BF her as long as I can, min 6 months.

My worst fear as a BF mom is milk reduction and baby not having enough to eat.
Each visit to the baby's clinic, I will be very anxious to know about her weight as I am afraid that she is not growing due to not eating enough.

I am trying my best to produce more milk.
TMC lactation consultant had advised me to take Fenugreek as supplement to boast my milk supply.
On top of that, need to drink more soup, eat and rest well in order to produce more milk.

I hope I can produce sufficient milk for my baby precious.

Baby Rae is Growing Well!

My baby is growing pretty well!

She is 12 weeks 1 day old, her height is 62cm and weigh 5.3kg.
Last month 8 Feb, she was 53cm and 4.6kg.

Her birth weight was 2.9kg and 49cm tall.
Isn't it amazing!

Vaccination

BB Rae had her first 6 in 1 jab this morning at the Polyclinic.
She also had her pneumomucocal jab and rotavirus vaccine too.

The jabs needle are really long for a baby.
When the nurse jabbed her, she broke into a loud cry instantly.
Poor baby, she was jabbed twice as I told the nurse to give her pneumomucal jab at the same time.

As we left home at 7.40am, we didn't bathe her till we got home after the jab at about 10am.
She had her milk then slept for 2 hours and is now drinking her milk.

According to the nurse, the jabs may cause fever so we need to monitor closely, once the body temp reached 37.5'c or more, panadol to be given.

I shall monitor bb closely.

Belated Full Month Celebration

My precious bb is 12 weeks and 1 day old today!
Last Saturday 17 Mar, we had a belated full moon party for her in KL since we didn't have any in January due to CNY.

We departed SG to Ipoh on 14 Mar Wed morning 6am and arrive Ipoh at about 12 noon.
I breast fed BB Rae during the long drive and she slept most of the time, so was pretty easy.
PIL were really happy to see bb, they prepared diapers, play pan, baby cot for her.

On Thursday 15 Mar morning 8.30am, we brought BB Rae to the MY birth registry to apply her MY citizenship.
BB Rae is born a Singaporean but we think it may be beneficial for her to have dual citizenship now as I may need to leave her with PIL should I decided to start work.
We gotta wait for 6 months to know the outcome of our citizenship application.

On Friday 16 Mar, we departed Ipoh for KL at about 10.30am.
We stayed with BIL.
We brought bath tub, pails, bouncing net to his place as he is a bachelor living alone in a 2 story house.
In the evening, we went to SIL place to ve dinner together.
The 3 girls were very happy to see bb Rae, they spent the whole Saturday morning preparing handmade cards, gift wrapped toys, clothes etc for bb Rae,

BB Rae's belated full moon party was organized in SIL's condo clubhouse.
A luxurious buffet dinner was catered.
We had more then 60 guests.
The party ended at about 10.30pm and BB Rae fell asleep on our way back to BIL's place.

The next day, Sunday, we had dim sum brunch before driving back to Ipoh.
We spent another 2 days in Ipoh before driving home yesterday, Wed 21 Mar.

Deprived of Sleep

I am very sleepy and constantly lack of sleep!
Why?
Because of my Baby Rae!
I had not slept well since week 37 of my pregnancy due to the backache, pressing tummy, anxiety of child birth.
After baby is born, I have yet to get a continuous sleep greater then 3 hours due to night feeds.
Yes, I had a confinement nanny to have me during the 1st month upon child birth, but as I only gave breast milk via latch on (with no bottle feeding), I gotta wake up to feed baby personally.
Her last feed for the night is 9pm, then next feed at 3am, 6am, 9am, followed by 2 hourly feed till 9pm at night and the same routine the next day!
When she sleeps, I can't sleep as I gotta express milk from my engorged breast.
Now when the confinement nanny is gone, I am caring for her alone, so I gotta be alert and keep a watchful eyes over her in fear of SIDS!

I am sleepy ...... When can I ve a good sleep?

No, don't get me wrong, I don't regret being a Mother as I know all these (baby, sleepless nights, flabby tummy, dark eye circles, puffy eyes, engorged breast, baby cries, no time for doing own leisure reading or other activities, always rushing to finish the meal quick to care for baby, frequent diaper changing, constant worry if baby drinks/ sleeps/ poos& pees enough etc) come in a package calls "Motherhood" but it also gives you a bonus packet known as "happiness with laughters"!

Happy V Day 2012!

I ve been busy caring and feeding Baby Rae and didn't realized it was Valentines Day yesterday until RY gave me a bouquet of roses and wish me Happy V Day!
I was surprised that he still gave me flowers.
I ve heard from friends that their husband stopped giving them flowers with the arrival of babies.
I'm not sure if he will persist but certainly hope that he does .......
Even though I am a mature adult and a mother, deep in my heart there is still the girlish part of me who wants to receive flowers from my man.

Breast Feeding

I have always wanted to do breast feeding to my babies as I am aware of the benefits of Mother's milk to her baby.
As much as I hope to breast feed, I understand that it may not necessary mean that I can produce any or sufficient milk to feed my hungry baby. Also not all baby can latch or suckle successfully.
During my pregnancy, I kept telling my baby "mummy loves you and will breast feed you to give you the best from me. Mummy will produce lots of milk for you so that you will not be hungry".
I guess this self conditioning could have helped in my breast milk productions.

In about week 36, my gynae taught me simple breast massage technique to induce milk production. I started to produce colostrum in the following week.
I think it was a blessing that Baby Rae was able to latch on to suckle well when she was newly born.
I can still remember vividly when the nurse bring Baby Rae to me for feeding, I merely held her to my breast and she opened her mouth wide to start to suckle.
It was a very thrilling moment to see a tiny baby feeding for food!
At that moment, I was the happiest and satisfying mum with my bundle of joy in my arm!
But being a new born, she tend to fall asleep easily as it required a lot of strength to suck
the colostrum/ milk out.
So I had to constantly wake her up by touching her cheek.
I was feeding her 4 hourly and the nurse would bring her to me as I chose exclusive breast feeding.

My milk supply kicks in on the 2nd day after child birth.
I started to have engorged breast on the 3rd night.
Fortunately the lactation consultant came to my rescue on the next day,Saturday morning, before I discharged in the afternoon.
She massaged my breast to relief the engorgement and also applied cold cabbage leaves on my breasts. She also advised me to latch baby on frequently and expressed the milk diligently using a breast pump.
When I came home, I did as instructed and in few days time, no more engorgement!

As at today, I am still breast feeding Baby Rae exclusively for 9 feeds per day and am glad that she is growing well!
I hope to be able to breast feed her for at least 6 months.
Wish me luck!

Pregnancy Journal 5 - Birth Story

Baby Rae EDD was 24 December 2011 and we were looking forward to a Christmas baby.
But her actual delivery date was 3 days earlier on 21 December 2011.

I was a happy mum to be during the pregnancy and my health condition was good.
Few days before the delivery date, I suddenly felt anxious and can't sleep at night.
I was wide awake in the middle of the night.
On Monday 19 December, it went to the gynae for a routine check and was surprised to see an exceptionally high blood pressure and doctor informed that my water level in the water bag is getting lower. She suggested that I admitted immediately for delivery.
I was shocked and speechless!
I told her I was not prepared since RY was at a meeting and not reachable.
She sent me to do HCG scanning to monitor heartbeat.
I was strapped up for 45 mins to do the scan and fortunately the result was good, so I was allowed home but gotta be admitted on 21 Dec morning for delivery.
She also told me to monitor baby's movement during the 2 days!

When I got home, I quickly did laundry, house cleaning, prepared baby cot mattresses, checked my hospital bag, admission documents etc.
I had the worst night that Monday night as I was worried about baby and imagined that there was no more movements.
It was an agony to go the another night and RY almost wanna admit me on Tuesday morning.
We received a surprised phone call from my gynae on Tuesday late afternoon.
She told me to get admitted on Tuesday night after 11.30pm so that the hospital can help me monitor the baby's movement and I will be induced on Wed morning.

That night, we had a quick dinner, then went to collect my breast pump which I ordered online.
I tried to calm myself down by watch TV before we left for TMC.

We reached TMC at about 11.40pm.
I went to the delivery suite while RY did the admission registration.
I was given laxative inserts to clear my bowel and was given medication to induce labour at about 2am.
I started feeling the contraction pain 3 hours later, then at 6am I washed up and had my
shower.
The contractions got more intense and the gynae came to check on me at 7am and told me that I ve not dilated and will wait for another hour to monitor if I can go ahead with the natural delivery.
An hour later, when she came, she checked and informed that she would do an emergency c-sec in an hour's time since I was not even a cm dilated.
She told me to choose between GA and epidural.
As I was in anxiety, we decided on GA.

Then the nurses prepared me for the operation.
I was pushed to the operating theatre at about 10am.

When I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital ward and it was 11.30am.
I saw RY and the first question I asked him was " is the baby ok? Is she pretty and normal?"
RY told me that all was well and assured me of a beautiful baby.

The gynae came to my room to check on me and asked if I wanted to breast feed baby. I told her yes and she arranged for the lactation consultant to advice me on the breast feeding techniques.
I get to see baby at about 12.30pm and did my first breast feeding despite the painful wounds.
I only managed to give her very little colostrum as my milk supply had not kicked in yet.
Holding my baby in my arm was wonderful, it was like a dream finally came true!
My Motherhood journey starts instantly!
The lactation consultant helped us take picture of our newborn in my arms, I shall always remember that moment ......

CNY 2012 - Year of the Water Dragon!

Happy CNY!

This CNY is different from prior year as we ve Baby Rae!

As usual, we went back to Ipoh for the CNY celebration.
RY and myself had been contemplating whether we should bring a month old baby on a road trip back to Ipoh since it was a long 6 hours drive.

Initially we had decided not to go back to Ipoh fearing that baby would to too young and fragile to travel, but after checking around with friends, we were told it was safe to travel as many fellow Malaysians had done it before!
But we still can't decide on the exact date to travel as we would like to celebrate Baby Rae's full month before we leave SG.

We had intended to have her full month party on 21 Jan Saturday and to travel on 22 Jan Sunday.
After much discussion with RY, we changed the full month celebration to Thursday 19 Jan and to
depart SG on 20 Jan.

Traveling with a baby is no joke as it entailed lots of preparation work, especially mine is a fully breast feb one!

On 19 Jan, after the full month party, we rushed to pack luggage and clean the house.
I quickly pumped 2 bottles of 120ml volume of milk for the confinement lady (cl) to feed Baby Rae for the night and the mid night feeds so that I can concentrate in preparing the luggage for the trip.

We woke up at 3am to feed baby Rae and left the house at 4am.
We were glad that the custom in both SG and MY were cleared, 2 toilet stops were made and we managed to arrive Ipoh at 10.30am.
We dropped CL at her Ipoh address before we reached PIL's place.

The moment we arrived, we quickly bathed Baby Rae and then I breast fed her before putting her to bed.
PIl was looking forward to our return, they prepared a baby cot in our room and another one in the living hall.
We also set up the baby monitor so that while she is sleeping upstairs, we are able to monitor her cries remotely in a floor below!
FIL cooked confinement dishes for my lunch.

With PIL's help, RY and myself managed to do some shopping in Ipoh. They helped to look after Baby Rae so that we can shop in peace.
We took opportunity to stock up cheap diapers, tissues, baby wipes, baby wash etc.

As Baby Rae's full month was too close to CNY, we were not able to hold any celebration party in Ipoh, instead we visited the relatives to introduce the new family member to them.
Being the first grand child of PIL, Baby Rae received generous gifts from many people.
The money gifts would be placed in her bank account.

We stayed in Ipoh for a week and left on Thursday!
Last time, when it was just RY and me, we would leave after a 3 to 4 days stay, but with a baby, we need the additional days to get ready for a long driving journey.
On Thursday morning, we set off at 7.30am and arrived SG at about 2pm.

This CNY was really fun with Baby Rae!
I look forward to the next CNY!

Pregnancy Journal - 4

Gynae Searching

In total, I had seen 4 gynaes, 1 in KL and Ipoh respective and 2 in SG.

The gynae in KL was recommended by RY's friend and the one in Ipoh was recommended by MIL's friend.
The KL gynae was very assuring, he knew about my 3 previous miscarriages history and kept assuring me that this pregnancy would be a smooth and successful one.
I was with him till my 22 weeks detailed scan to ensure the baby is normal and viable before I return to SG.

Initially we had wanted to deliver our baby in KL but due to accommodation constrain during the confinement, we changed to Ipoh.
The gynae in Ipoh was very caring, despite the detailed scan done in KL, she did another round of detailed scanning to check on the organ development and took picture of baby Rae to show us how beautiful she was. It was a relief to know at the early stage that there is no cleft lips.

During my stay in Ipoh, I was having a second thought of delivering Baby Rae in Ipoh. I had wanted a natural delivery so was uncertain about the actual delivery date. I fear that RY may not make it in time in Ipoh to accompany me through out the delivery.
So we decided that we should have our baby in SG.

While in Ipoh, I researched on the various hospital and decided on Thomason Medical Centre to deliver my baby but haven't confirm the gynae. I also enrolled us to the Antenatal Class conducted by TMC commencing in September 2011.

So in mid August, I returned to SG and went to Bintan with RY.
We had shortlisted 2 gynae in SG, the first was Dr AW, we chose him because his clinic is pretty near to our house, but we were not comfortable with him since his consultation was really fast, we had no chance to ask much question.

The second one was Dr WK Tan of TMC.
She is very motherly and patient with our question.
During the first consultation, we immediately decided on her as our gynae to deliver Baby Rae and signed on to her package.
She is a very experienced doctor! Each visit was very assuring!

Pregnancy Journal - 3

Pregnancy Woes

In this chapter, I'd like to talk about the pregnancy woes which I had experienced.

Morning Sickness
No, I had no morning sickness just like my previous 3 pregnancy.
I was worried that this could imply bad omen with no morning sickness.
My KL gynae, assured me that it's normal not to have any.

Hunger
But I did feel hungry all the time during first trimester.
I ate almost 2 hourly and just loved carbohydrates, which added about 7 kg to my weight during the initial pregnancy phase.

Carpel Tunnel Syndrome
I had carpel tunnel syndrome starting week 18 and the gynae was puzzled since usually this only started in the later part of the pregnancy due to water retention.
It started with a numbed right palm, then it spread my shoulder and neck in about week 20.
In week 32, my left hand also became numbed.
Up till after 1 month of child birth, my both hands are still numbed.

Water Retention
I could feel my feet swelled in around week 19 but it was pretty mild.
The swelling was gradual and by week 35, my legs had turned into "porky legs" and really heavy which made each step a tough one to move.
In fact my body, face and arms were swollen during the last trimester.
By week 38, my feet became so fat and big that I can't fit into my shoes which was bought in week 28 and was already a size bigger then my pre-pregnancy shoes.

Frequent Urination
During trimester 1, due to the pregnancy hormones, I'd go to the toilet frequently and at least twice in the middle of the night.
In my last trimester, with the growing baby pressing on my bladder, I'd go to the toilet every 45 minutes and 2 to 3 times at night during my sleep.

Backache
The backache started around week 32 and got worst in week 36 as the baby grew.
It was so bad that I got to sat on the sofa to sleep since lying down and getting up from bed was a challenge.
It was only in week 38 that I was able to sleep on my bed as baby travelled towards the birth canal.

Is this Real?

My Baby Rae is now sleeping in my right arm while I am busy typing this post on my iPad.

I ve been dreaming about the day of holding the bundle of joy in my arms and here she is now!
Is this real? or am I dreaming?

I am so happy now that tears of joy are rolling down on my cheek .......

Pregnancy Journal - 2

The amazing baby movement inside my tummy was felt at around week 20.
I still remember vividly that it was a Friday night and I was home alone in Ipoh as PIL went to attend a wake in Kuala Kamgsar - refer to my post in Auguest 2011.

Previously I was complaining to RY that I can't feel any baby movement since such movement usually can be felt from week 18 onwards.

I was surfing the net in the room and suddenly I can feel some twitching movemnt around the tummy area.
The feeling was amazing and unforgettable!

When RY arrived Ipoh the next morning, I quickly shared the good news with him!

Due to the previously 3 miscarriages, I am really paranoid over this pregnancy.
Each time at the gynae clinic, I'd pray hard that I can see the flicker of the heartbeat in the monitor.
The gynae knew about my history and he'd purposely turn on the volume to also let me hear the throbbing sound of the heartbeat, he also keep assuring me that the pregnancy is very strong and I need not be worried for nothing.
He said my anxiety could be translated into negative energy which may affect the baby.
I heed his advise and tried my best to remain cheerful throughout this pregnancy.