Monday, March 29, 2010


I'm very disappointed that despite the regular exercise, TCM, health supplement, egg diet etc, I still didnt respond well in this cycle.

Last Fri scan revealed that I only have 3 follicles which are about "4" which is considered poor for 7 day stimulation.
So I was told to continue with the GF jabs and back on Monday (D11 of GF) to check the progress.
The doc said that if there's no good progress, this cycle will be cancelled.

This morning, I went for the scan and was told the follicles are now about "5" since usually at about day 11, the size should be about "12"....... so this cycle should be cancelled.

I was given another GF jab and told to go back tomorrow to check the scanning again.
I also did AMH blood test to check on the ovarian reserve and if the result showed that my reserve is diminishing, then I should not consider doing IVF and instead to use donors egg ..........

This is very depressing since I've done my best to make this cycle viable and success .......

What have I done wrong?

Deep inside I know that this cycle will be cancelled but am still hoping for miracle ...........

The intial stages have been rather smooth and it's really a shock now that I cant proceed further.

I really want to have baby with RY and is very very curious how our baby will look like with both our genes combination.

Frankly speaking, I've quite a nice features and was a beauty peagent participants back in University days.
Till today, I still managed to maintain my slim figures and stay groomed .........
RY is also rather good looking and is slim and fit too ........
TTC is very tough and IVF is really daunting.
The whole baby making experience has make me a very unhappy person .......

I'll need some time to grieve over this depressing result so dont think will update this blog too soon .........

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tomorrow D8 of GF Jab & Scanning in KKH

Tomorrow being D8 of the stimulation jab, I need to go to KKH for the scan and at the same time let them use the balance GF vial to jab me ..........

I just came back from TCM and she told me to call her tomorrow after my scanning result.

After my scanning, I'll go to airport to catch my flight to Ipoh .........
So I'll need to bring all the jabs (GF & Lucrin with me to the hopsital to bring to the airport.

I hope the stimulation is effective and look forward to good result.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mood Swing

I'm very very very very tired!
The high GF dosage is making me extremely tired and sleepy ........... so I sleep at about 10pm or earlier now .......... (after this post, I shall zzzzzzzz)

I also realised that when I'm upset, I lost my cool and flare it out loud and fierce!

I dont like what I'm now since I seem to turn into a ugly green monster.

I'll try to control my temper and not to scare people around me.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Stressed Up over IVF and am having Gastric Pain ...........

Altho I keep telling myself to be calm and relax in this IVF cycle, I know subconsciously I'm very stressed up since there're so many uncertainty during the process - worry about missing the dosage of jabs, afriad of jabbing the wrong dosage, afraid that I may misplace GF & Lucrin as they need to be refrigerated, worry about the stimulation result, not sure if the body is responding well etc ...........

Since yesterday, I've been having discomfort in the gastric and I know I'm having the gastritis attack due to stress or diet ..........

Is it because of my egg white diet which give me this problem?

Maybe tomorrow I should try to eat some bread prior to the egg whites as I've been taking the egg in empty stomach .........

I hope I can stay calm and sleep well and take this as a pinch of salt ......

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Qing Ming Festival 2010

The Qingming Festival (simplified Chinese: 清明节) Clear Bright Festival, Ancestors Day or Tomb Sweeping Day is a traditional Chinese festival on the 104th day after the winter solstice (or the 15th day from the Spring Equinox), usually occurring around April 5 of the Gregorian calendar (see Chinese calendar).

The Qingming festival falls on the first day of the fifth solar term, named Qingming. Its name denotes a time for people to go outside and enjoy the greenery of springtime (踏青 Tàqīng, "treading on the greenery") and tend to the graves of departed ones.

Qingming has been regularly observed as a statutory public holiday in Taiwan and in the Chinese jurisdictions of Hong Kong and Macau. Its observance was reinstated as a public holiday in mainland China in 2008, after having been previously suppressed by the ruling Communist Party in 1949.
But unfortunately, its not a holiday in SG so we've to either do the "tomb sweeping" during weekends or take annual leave from from work.
Its strange but somehow before/ during the Qingming festival, the weather would be rather wet and it has been raining heavily in SG for the past few days.
In SG to avoid the hugh crowd, we'll usually go before the actual or after the actual day but it has to be within the same month in the Chinese Calendar.
Yesterday morning, we've gone to pay respect to our late grandparents whose tables are housed in Ju Shi Lin temple near to River Valley.
This coming Fri, we're going back to Ipoh so that we can join his dad to go to Tapah this Sunday for the "ancestor tomb sweeping".
We've booked the Firefly air-ticket to depart this Fri and return on Sun; and the air-tix cost us RM1,530 for 2 paxs.
It's very expensive for such a short trip but we think this is a better choice since I'm currently under fertility treatment and should not be stressed up.
No doubt driving is cheaper alternative but I may be stressed up due to the long drive, custom jam and worried that RY may fall asleep during the long drive ..........
We've to pay such a high air fare as Firefly (subsi of Malaysia Air) is the only airline that flies from SG to Ipoh and there's no domestic flight from KL to Ipoh ...........

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Gonal F Side Effects

I've done a quick reseach on the common GF seide effects and think that I could've gotten it as I've bad headache the whole day today, worsent vision .........

Gonal-f RFF Pen Solution

All medicines may cause side effects, but many people have no, or minor, side effects. Check with your doctor if any of these most COMMON side effects persist or become bothersome when using Gonal-f RFF Pen Solution:

Breast pain; discomfort, pain, or mild bruising at the injection site; headache; mild stomach pain or nausea; sinus inflammation; sore throat; stuffy nose.

Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Gonal-f RFF Pen Solution:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); abnormal vaginal bleeding; calf pain or tenderness; chest pain; confusion; decreased urination; diarrhea; fever; one-sided weakness; severe or persistent stomach pain, upset, or bloating; severe or persistent nausea; severe pelvic or back pain; shortness of breath; slurred speech; sudden, unexplained weight gain; unusual vaginal itching, discharge, or odor; vision changes; vomitting.


To help me to produce eggs, I've been eating eggs delligently - egg white to be specific since its high in protein.

On the 1st day of Lucrin jab, I ate 2 egg whites and with the commencement of GF, I take 5.
I hope this egg white diet can help in my IVF process.
For my bb, I'm willing to do anything for them to make my bb dream come true ..............

Eggs are considered a good source of protein and choline.

Some research on Egg Whites:

Egg white is the common name for the clear liquid (also called the albumen or the glair/glaire) contained within an egg. It is the cytoplasm of the egg, which until fertilization is a single cell (including the yolk). It consists mainly of about 15% proteins dissolved in water. Its primary natural purpose is to protect the egg yolk and provide additional nutrition for the growth of the embryo, as it is rich in proteins and also of high nutritional value. Unlike the egg yolk, it contains a negligible amount of fat. Egg whites have many culinary and non-culinary uses for humans

The egg white is approximately two-thirds of the total egg's weight out of its shell with nearly 90% of that weight coming from water. The remaining weight of the egg white comes from protein, trace minerals, fatty material, vitamins, and glucose.[1] The U.S. large egg's white weighs 38 grams with 4.7 grams of protein, 0.3 grams of carbohydrate and 62 milligrams of sodium. The U.S. large egg white contains about 20 calories.[2] Egg white has no dietary cholesterol. Egg white contains approximately 40 different proteins.[3] Below is a list of the proteins found in egg whites by percentage along with their natural functions.[1][4]

54% Ovalbumin - Nourishment; blocks digestive enzymes

12% Ovotransferrin - Binds iron

11% Ovomucoid - Blocks digestive enzymes

4% Ovoglobulin G2

4% Ovoglobulin G3

3.5% Ovomucin

3.4% Lysozyme

1.5% Ovoinhibitor

1% Ovoglycoprotein

0.8% Flavoprotein

0.5% Ovomacroglobulin

0.5% Avidin

0.05% Cystatin

Although egg whites are prized as a source of low-fat, high-protein nutrition, a small number of people cannot eat them. Egg allergy is more common among infants than adults, and most children will outgrow it by the age of five.[16] Allergic reactions against egg white are more common than reactions against egg yolks.[17] In addition to true allergic reactions, some people experience a food intolerance to egg whites.[

1st Gonal-F Jab on 19 Mar

Yesterday was my 1st GF jab and I was really tensed since it seems rather complicated.

I've to ensure the needle is capped properly and then turn the dial to 375iu, then pull out the injection tab and then poke the needle into m tummy and jab, wait for 10 sec then turn the dial to 300iu again (while the needle remains intact) and repeat the same procedure ............

I was glad that I managed to complete the 1st jabbing successfully.

Today will be my 2nd dosage of 675iu and count down to 26 Mar for my day 8 scan and hope for good result.

Lucrin Side Effects

I was hoping that with the discontinuation of BCP, my hot flashes will go away but it actually persists .........

This is due to the Lucrin side effets ..........

I did a research on Lucrin and found that hot flashes is the most common side effects.

Besides hot flashes, I also tend to feel tired easily, constant headache and blurred vision (cant see as clear).
I hope this IVF would be a success and all the sufferings is worth it ...........

Common Side Effects

Approximately 52 percent of lucrin users report hot flashes, making this the most common side effect of the drug. The retention of fluid under the skin is also common, occurring in at least 8 percent of users. More than 5 percent of patients who take lucrin experience dizziness, pain throughout the body, headache, nausea and vomiting.

Other Side Effects

Lucrin also has the potential to cause a number of other troublesome or annoying, but not dangerous, side effects. Some patients experience gastrointestinal side effects from the drug, such as diarrhea and loss of appetite. Nervous system effects like anxiety, tingling in the extremities, forgetfulness, sour taste and insomnia as well as fever and fatigue are also possible while taking lucrin. Other possible side effects of lucrin include breast tenderness in women and impotence in men.

Allergic Reaction

Though rare, lucrin has the potential to cause serious allergic reactions in some patients. The first signs of an allergic reaction are often the formation of hives anywhere on the body and itching around the mouth and lips. Without medical attention, the reaction often progresses to more dangerous symptoms, such as swelling of the lips and throat or difficulty breathing. If you experience any signs of an allergic reaction at any point while using lucrin, seek prompt emergency medical care.


In addition to minor side effects and the risk of interactions, lucrin has the potential to cause serious medical complications. In some cases, lucrin has been linked to cardiovascular problems, including the formation of blood clots, inflammation of veins, heart attack and irregular heartbeat. Lucrin sometimes causes difficulty and irregular breathing as well as gastrointestinal bleeding. Serious neuro-sensory effects of lucrin include blurred vision and numbness.


In some cases, lucrin injections cause an initial worsening of the symptoms of the illness or disease. Doctors also limit the use of lucrin in patients who have impaired kidneys as without proper urination, levels of the drug can build up in the body and become toxic. Lucrin is not typically prescribed to treat children as there is not enough information to ensure that pediatric usage does not lead to long term side effects. Lucrin injections may cause damage to the fetus and typically are avoided during pregnancy.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Proceed to Stage 2 - Gonal F jabs on 19 Mar & onwards

This monring I was at KKH at 7.30am for my blood test and ultra sound scan.
I managed to do my blood test at 7.30am but the scanning room only starts at 8am but cos the nurse misplaced my appointment card, I only get to do the scanning after 3 patients ......

My lining was 5.5 and was considered good so the nurse gave me my prescription to let me buy Gonal F to stand-by for the jab for this Fri onwards.
But I was told to wait for their call this afternoon to inform me about the blood test on the E2 suppression, which they did inform me at about 4pm that my test result is good is able to proceed to stage 2 on 19 Mar.

The Pharmacy only opens at 8.30am so I gotta wait till its open to get the medication then return to UVF clinic to learn how to jab myself.

I didnt take leave from work so gotta quickly rush to office at 9.30am, fortunately RY is with me to drive me there, else I'll reach office later then 9.30am ............

So from Fri onwards, I've to jab Lucrin as well as GF, so it means I gotta wait up 10 mins earlier for the preparation.

Next Fri 26 Mar, I'll be going to the clinic to check on the no. of follicles ........... I hope I can have good results and produce many & good quality eggs ......... also hope that all the eggs fertilise successfukky & beautifully ...........

RY also gotta start taking his anti-biotics from Fri onwards for 7 days ...........

For my last 2 cycles, the dr put me on Puregon but it seems like now they change to Gonal F (GF).

As I dont respond well to puregon in the last 2 cycles, the dr put me on a very high GF dosage - 675iu per day ...... and it cost me >$600 for 1 tub which contain 900 iu...........
The total cost for my treatment is going to be SGD10k to SGD12K and I can only get SGD2.7K grant from Govt since RY is permanent resident, also I can only utilise SGD4K from medisave since this is the 3rd attemps using CPF.

This BB quest is costing us alot of money but it's worth every cents since we're pursuing our dream to make it into a reality ............

Pls wish us all the Best!
May God bless us!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tomorrow Baseline Blood Test and Scanning - Lucrin Day 15

Tomorrow 17 Mar (Wed) morning, I'll be going to KKH to do BT to check on my E2 level and also scan no. of existing follicles and the doc shall confirm if I can move on to stage 2 to do puregon jab ..........

Somehow I think I'm rather worried about the test result.
I hope the test result is good and can move on .........

I shall update tomorrow after my test result is out.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Sat 13 Mar = CD1 on Lucrin day 11

This morning AF came on CD26 of last cycle and Day 11 of Lucrin jab.

I thot my mens should only come on Mon 15 Mar which is CD28 due to the BCP pills .......... not sure why it came early.
Maybe I was stressed since RY was out-station for the last 3 days and I didnt rest well.
But my usual cycle is 26 days so maybe it just normal to come on CD26.

I'll be going to KKH for my blood test & scanning coming Wed 17 Mar to check if my hormone is suppressed enough to move on to stage 2 = Puregon stage.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Husband should be Participative in the IVF Journey

This morning RY went off to Penang for a 3 days biz trip and will be back on coming Fri.

So it means I'm alone now at home surfing internet while waiting for the laundry to be ready (just put them in the washing machine).

Actually RY should be going on this trip next Wed to Fri but because I need to do my baseline scan next Wed and possibily doing the 1st puregon jab on Fri, which means I gotta go to the hospital twice, so I requested for RY to shift his travel dates.

Although this is my 3rd IVF fresh cycle, I still hope that RY can be with me during those critical day of blood test, scanning etc, this make me feel that he's participative in this IVF journey.

I think its very important for both husband & wife to be involved in the fertility journey and not let wife feel that she's doing this by herself.

During IVF, the wife is the one who suffer physical pain (blood test, jabbing etc) and emotional pain (she's worried about the progress and body response to the medication etc), so the husband should be supportive to show the wife that he cares ...........

So before you embark on this IVF treatment, pls have a serious discussion with your husband to get a mutual understanding of each others' expectation on the roles & responsibility and set the an appropriate standard.
This is to avoid any subsequent disappointments on the husband's less participative involvement. 

Its important to stay calm, relax and cheerful during IVF, so wife should try to voice out her concern to husband so that he knows how he can help.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Last Day of BCP!

Today is the 21st day = last day of the BCP pill!!

To be frank I've been suffering for the past 20 days due to the side effect of BCP.
The side effect is mainly hot flashes which make me break into sweats out of sudden and the next moment I'll be frozen as my temp suddenly went down.
This is very disturbing in the middle of the night.
When the hot flash attacks, I'll kick away the blanket but once its gone, I'll search for the blanket frantically .........

I'm just glad that today being the last day of the pill and I hope I wont have any hot flushes after tonight ..........

Do you've the same side effect when you're on BCP?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Will you forgive your husband if he cheated on you?

This morning I saw the news headline about SG famous director - Jack Neo's scandalous affair with a young lady - so young that she can be his daughter (he's 50 and she's 22) ........

Channel NewsAsia - Model exposes affair with S'pore director Jack Neo -

I'm rather shocked since Jack had projected a family guy image and had many times expressed his love for his family and thanked his wife for being his life support .............

Mrs Neo had stand up for her husband and openly announced that she had forgiven her husband of 27 years ...........

Why cant men resist temptation of the sweet young things?
When they engage in such an affair, do they ever consider the hurt & betrayal they've inflicted on their wife, who have gone thru think & thick with him ......... she was once a beautiful young thing and chose to settle down with him when he was penniless???

I hope that RY will remain faithful to me.
I dont think I can forgive him if he ever cheated on me ......... I hope that day will never come to make me make such a decision .........

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What else can I do to boost my pregnancy success rate?

I'm not sure what else can I do to ensure this IVF is a success, the pregnancy is viable and delivery of my healthy bb smoothly ..........

I'm under acpuncture, TCM herbs, health supplement, healthy diet, frequent exercise and also visit the temple to pray to the Goddess of Mercy to grant me my baby wish ........ I think I may seriously consider driving to Tapah in Malaysia (which is 6 hrs drive from SG) to pay respect to RY's ancesstors during this Ching Ming festival ........

Being a highly educated modern women, it could be seen as ridiculous to resort to such desparate measures - praying for miracle, which is not scientifically proven.

But if you've been thru that kind of pain as me, it may not be difficult to understand why ..........

For the sake of having my own precious baby or babies, I'm willing to give all means a try.

I hope who ever who happens to drop-by my blog can also help me say a prayer ......... pray that my (as well as other women in similar quest) quest can be a success .........

May the Heavenly Divine hear our prayers and grant us our wishes .............

Thursday, March 4, 2010

SQ KrisFlyer Mileage Redemptions

I used to travel frequently on job to Europe & Japan in my ex-job, almost every month I'd go out-station for about 2 weeks, so I've accumulated substantial mileage and hotel privileage points, which enable me to redeem free air-tickets and hotel stay .............
I missed those days cos' I get to see the world ......... I'm rather proud that at my age, I've travelled to Europe, Brazil and almost the Asia Pacific countries (except NZ) .........
But I've never been to USA & Taiwan which are common countries........ I've yet to get the stamp on my passport!

I'm pretty familiar with Tokyo and I've brought RY to tour around vicinity around Tokyo ........ last April, we went to Hakone ............

Since 2 years ago, I'd switched to my current job which have minimum flying to try to concentrate in TTC.
But it also mean that I've mean down graded to Silver status ..........

March till June this year, I've quite a substantial mileage which will expire monthly so I gotta make a decision to either redeeem the air-tix for RY & my use or help others to get free air-tix.

The rough estimation of my IVF schedule show that I should be undergoing ER & ET in early April and 2ww should complete in end April.
If my pregnancy is BFP, then my EDD should be about end Dec ..........

In view of the above schedule, RY and myself think that we should not risk by travelling since this would be a very precious baby.

So I've redeemed the mileage for my sis & her family to go to HK during June schoold holiday.
Despite the redemption for sis' family, I still have sufficient points to bring RY to near-by places for short vacation in 2011!

Wedding Anniversary Roses

Last Sat (27 Feb) was my customary wedding anniversary.
RY got me a bouquet of red roses for me and each morning he'd change fresh water, cut the stem and re-arrange the flowers.

It's nice to receive the roses from RY ......... during my birthday, ROM & customary wedding anniversary.
Oh none for V-day since it's cut-throat price so not advisable to spend that kind of money.

I hope he'll continue to send me roses during the 3 occassions mentioned above till we aged ..........

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tomorrow is 1st Day of Lucrin Jab

Tomorrow I'll wake up early at 6.30am to get ready for my jab.
Usually I'll wake up at 6.45am during weekday but tomorrow, I must try to get myself up 15 mins earlier.

I also went to get Blackmores Conceive Well Gold to commencemence the daily consumption tomorrow too .......
So it means I'll discard the existing health supplements to just take the TCM hearbs, Conceive Well, DHEA and the Cordycepts pill.

I plan to take the supplemets in the following order:

Cordycepts and the Kidney pills = 2 each :  Early morning before food
DHEA = 1 pill :  After shower
Blackmores Conceive Well = 1 tab + 1 cap each :  After breakfast
TCM herbs = 2 packs :  Reach office settle down
Brands Chix Essence & Schisandra/ Sesamin = 2 tabs each :  After lunch
DHEA = 1 pill :  Just before I leave office at about 5pm
TCM hearbs = 2 packs :  After dinner
BCP = 1 pill :  Before bed

Note:  Need to check with TCM if I can continue to take the Schisandra/ Sesamin tabs this Sun ..........

Monday, March 1, 2010

TCM Medication for IVF

After much discussion with RY, we've decided to go ahead with the TCM medication for this IVF cycle.
We were thinking for the last 2 cycle, we didnt take an TCM so this time we should give it a try to boast the egg and lining quality to ensure a viable pregnancy.

The TCM doc give me 28 oackets of yellow powder to be consumed for 7 days - 2 packs morning and another 2 in the evening.

This Wed will be my 1st Lucrin jabs and it means the commencement of my needle poking journey!