Separation Anxiety

It was a very adventurous month in March.

My baby had a melt down which lasted for about 2 weeks from end March till beginning April.

She refused to go to school and cried non-stop in the morning which lasted about 2 hours each day.

She came out with creative excuse like leg pain, tummy ache, not feeling well all over, or friends not refused to play with her or she couldn't write or follow teachers instructions.

I gotta send and fetch her from school as her daddy couldnt manage her.

When I checked with her teachers, they said bb Rae has no learning issues, in fact she is very good and fast in learning, and is always the first to accomplish the task assigned.

We tried to reflect on what had gone wrong then I recalled that the week prior to the melt down, I brought her out during one of the weekdays to meet up with her play date friends. 

She must have thought that if she doesn't go to school, mommy would bring her out to play with her friends.

I brought her out regularly, usually once a week on a weekday to bond with her or let her meet her non-school going friends.

So as she grows, she begins to understand the concept of Time and associate school days with routine learning and non school days as play.

Her teacher advised me not to take her out so that she won't be confused over school and play during weekdays.

The teacher shared that after this period she will be alright.

Fortunately, she got over this separation anxiety after 2 weeks else it'll be tough. 

RIP Mr Lee Kuan Yew

It has been a gloomy week as Singapore mourn over our loss, our Founding PM, Mr Lee Kuan Yew's demise on 23 Match 2015 3am.

No word can describe my sadness. Tears well up and roll down my cheek whenever I thought of him.

Everyday (23 to 29 Mar 2015), the TV telecasts documentary show about this great man.  It reminded us that Singapore's success was not possible if not for this great man, we had developed from third world to first in less then half a century!

Thank you, Mr Lee Kuan Yew!

You shall be remembered and never forgotten.........

Cranky baby in school

Just now at noon time, Baby Rae's school form teacher Ms N called me to inform that bb Rae has been crying non stop since this morning and she wanted to know if anything special or unusual happened at home before she came to school.  I told the teacher, nothing extraordinary took place and she was happy when she left home for school and asked them to monitor her.

I told them it won't do her any good if I were to bring her home now as she may repeat the same in order to come home early or miss school.

Teacher said she would pacify and comfort her, and would inform me if they require me to bring her home early should the situation worsens.

RY told me that this morning while they were queuing up to have the tempreature taken at the school, a girl who was in the line cried out loud and her mom was hugging and consoling her.

He suspects that bb Rae could be affected by that girl's cries.

When baby comes home, I gotta have a good talk to her to find out what happens that make her so sad today. I hope after an afternoon nap, she'd feel better and happier.

I don't really enjoy receiving phone call from school.

It's known that "No News is Good News"!

My darling girl

Found some photo of my darling taken some time ago.

Isn't she lovely?

"Single Parenthood"

Since last year, there was a change in RY's job scope and he has to travel frequently and mostly to USA.
During his absence, I'll be the playing "single parent" to bb Rae.

There are pros and cons when RY is away.
Let's talk about pros:
1 less tedious cooking and no oily kitchen
RY is pretty fussy when it comes to food.
He doesn't like chicken except when it's cooked in curry or turmeric sauce but bb can't eat spicy stuff so I gotta grill or steam a chicken dish separately for her.
He also doesn't like repetition of dishes, so I gotta cook different variety for 6 days.
When he travels, I'd just steam or grill meat and veg dish for bb and myself, easy peasy.

2 own time own target
In the morning, RY would send bb to school and also fetch her after work.
So it's a mad rush in the morning when he doesn't inform in advance his need to go to school early for meetings.
He'd also fetch bb home anytime that suits his routine. I may be busy preparing dinner while they are back and usually bb would demand my immediate attention.
So morning and evening time are my "peaks"!
During his absence, I'd time myself to get bb ready and send her to school in the morning.
And in the evening, I'd get the necessary ingredient ready prior to fetching bb from school and only need to turn on the power switch to steam the dishes when we are home.

3 flexible weekend
When RY is home, he'd rather stay at home then being us out so all of us would stay at home to spend time together as a family.
While he is away, I'd plan outings to bring bb out to have fun either at the park or visit the local attractions like Garden by the Bay etc or do some shopping.

Now let's talk about the cons:
1 disturbed sleeps
When RY is around, he'd usually sleep late and also would wake up once or twice in the middle of the night to go toilet cum check on bb to make sure she has her blanket covered.
So when he is not around, I gotta push myself up to check on her.

2 less Me time
As I gotta send and fetch bb to/fro school, I gotta lesser time to myself.
When RY is home, he'd play with bb so I get to do other chores.
So when he is not around, I gotta play with her, cooks, cleans and feed her too.

3 Tiring
Yes, it's tiring to be "single parent" as I'm constantly need to think of activities to keep bb occupied to expel her all her energy.

Seems like the pros and cons are on par.
So like it or not, I gotta live with it as RY is currently the sole breadwinner.
My responsibility is to ensure bb eats healthy, sleep, play and grows up well so that he can concentrate in bringing back the bacon.

Happy 2015

Oh gosh, it has been many moons since I last posed in this blog.
How time flies huh?

What have I been doing? I was feeling depressed of the drifted distance between RY and me and was afraid that our relationship may turn sour. But I plucked out the courage to voice out my feeling to him and I helped as he tried to make time to chat with us, play with bb and also do a group hug prior to putting bb to sleep. So open communication is important. In Sept'14, bb's school was closed for renovation and I gotta take care of her 24/7 and I was bz planning outing and activities for her too. In Oct'14, we went to Italy for 2 weeks of vacation. Frankly speaking I didn't enjoy much as I gotta handle bb and had missed out of many commentary of the history by the tour guide of historical site. Being an active toddler, she couldn't stand or sit still so I gotta entertain her. Last December, I was bz planning a Christmas party for bb and her little friends and also her 3 year old birthday party. It was a very tiring month planning the parties. We also went to KL to celebrate Christmas with PIL and SIL's family. We celebrated CNY in Ipoh 2 weeks ago. Bb had fun bonding with her grandparents.

Love is over?

I ve read about how a couple's relationship may distance after having a baby and didnt quite comprehend until now.

Yes, I ve realised that RY and I are not as loving as before.

We only talk when he is at work via Whatsap, strange huh?

When he comes back from work, he'll lock himself in the study room (so that bb can't disturb him) to continue with his work and only come out when it's dinner time.

After dinner, he'll play with bb for a short while and then again lock himself in the study to do his own reading or does his work.

By the time I put bb to sleep, I'd also fall asleep too, so we've no chance to talk and be intimate.

We are like "acting parents", u know what I mean?

We look normal like any couple who are parents but we've no "soul", we're just there as parents for bb Rae.

I know this is dangerous .........

But really, there doesn't seem to ve any chance to communicate.

Weekends? 

Oh, his standard answer is "I just wanna do nothing at home, don't plan anything!"

So weekend will be just me and bb, I will take bb out as she goes to school daily during weekdays.

Think our love is dying ..........

When we were childless, we ve each other.

He was there when I was sad and happy.

Now, I ve bb but without him .......

Happy Easter 2014

Last Thursday, bb Rae came home with her 1st Easter egg art.

She was very happy and eager to show mommy her master piece she did in school.

I gotta document this before I bin it.

Baby Rae's first bake!

Today my baby came home with excitement to show me what she had done in school, her 1st bake (with teacher's help), a cookie!

She managed to curb her desire to bite off this cute cookie so that she can bring home to show mommy.

I'm very proud of my baby.

This is the small thing that makes a mom happy, guess it's my bonus for this quarter!

Triple Chocolate Brownies

I've made this Triple Chocolate Brownies this morning.

Recipe:

A

50g Plain flour

1/3 tsp baking powder (sift together with flour twice)

B

Unsalted butter 80g

Unsweeten baking chocolate 110g (I used Hershey)

C

Castor sugar 90g

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

D

50g white Choco chips

50g semi Choco chips

Method (pre heat oven 170'c and line a 8" by 3.5" baking tin

1 melt B using microwave oven but make sure low heat with short  sec interval so that the mixture won't sizzle.

2 cream C in stand mixer till pale n frothy

3 add B into C n mix well

4 add in D

5 fold in flour

6 pour into baking tin and bake in 170'c for 15 min then change to 160'c for 30 min till top is dry but inside still moist

RIP : MH370

It was a sad news regarding the MH370 tragedy, I sincerely hope that all the relatives, loved ones and friends of the 200+ passengers on board that fateful flight can get over the grieves ASAP.

I've been following closely the news and was hoping for a miracle that the plane to be found in some remote island.

I'm still hoping for a miracle .........

Bread making

I've been making my own bread since our return from Ipoh CNY trip in early Feb.

Bread recipe (using Tang Zhong method)

A

200g bread flour

90g plain flour

30g caster sugar

6g instant yeast

12g milk powder

1 egg (without shell 60g)

65g water

Salt 6g (if using salted butter 2g)

Tang Zhong 80g

Cranberry 30g (optional)

B

50g Butter (unsalted)

Method 

1 mix A group of ingredient using stand mixer (hook) till well mix and bowl clean using low speed

2 add in butter and mix using low speed till well combine then beat till non sticky and the dough is elastic (pass the stretch membrane test)

3 shape the dough into round shape & put it in a greased bowl and let it proof in room temperature for about 45mins (dough size double)

4 dust finger with flour and poke the dough to test if well proof, if hole remains then it's ok

5 Divide the dough into 10 to 11 round balls of about 55g each, let dough rest for another 10 mins

6 shape the dough into oval shape by flattening the ball, fold the long sides then seal the 2 ends tightly 

7 line the dough on a well greased baking tray, remember to leave sufficient gap in between

8 put the baking tray inside the oven to proof the dough for 40mins, turn on the oven light without the heat and put a tray of hot water underneath the baking tray of bread dough

9 check that the dough is double in size and butter wash the dough (can sprinkle cheese & parsley on top)

10 remove from oven n preheat 180'c

11 bake at 180'c for 15min

12 once turn golden brown, remove from oven n butter wash

Top pic is bread with cheese n parsley 

Bottom is plain butter roll

Happy Valentine's Day 2014!

This year RY (as usual) bought me a bouquet of red roses and suggested dinner.

I didn't want to spend hours in the long q outside the restaurant, I had declined his offer.

I'll be making his favorite dish, yellow ginger chicken, for tonight's dinner.

I've no gift for my love, so I've made this Garrett (copy cat version) caramel popcorn for him since he loves the Garrett very much.

My copy cat Garrett caramel popcorn recipe:

Popcorn 

100g corn kernel

2 tbsp oil

A handful of peanuts or cashew nuts (I use cashew)

Caramel

50g butter (salted)

A pinch of salt (if use unsalted butter then 1/2 tsp)

80g brown sugar

50g corn syrup

1tsp baking soda

Method

Popcorn

1 Heat up non stick pan (I use Happycall)

2 add oil

3 test the heat by throwing 1 or 2 kernels see if it pops, once pop, add in all (shake/ stir to make sure all coated with oil)

4 when the popping sound stops, pour the popcorn in a baking tray line with parchment paper (remove those unpopped ones)

5 mix in the cashew nuts

Caramel

1 add butter, sugar, syrup, salt in a small saucepan, bring to boil using low heat

2 stir continuously to prevent burnt bottom

3 once big boil, off the fire, add in the baking soda and stir till the foam subsided and the caramel is ready

Baking (heat up oven 150'c)

1 pour the hot caramel over the popcorn and stir till evenly coated

2 bake the popcorn for 5 mins, remove from oven and stir, (repeat another 3 rounds)

3 let it cool down and the Garrett style popcorn is ready

Yellow Butter Choco Chips Cake

With 2 leftover egg yolk from yesterday's Almond Crisps' bakes, I've baked this Yellow Butter Choco Chips cake.

Ingredient 

Cake flour 100g

Baking powder 1 tsp

Butter 60g at room temp but not melted (salted)

Castor sugar 60g

Egg yolk 2 (35g)

Milk 80ml

Vanilla extracts 3/4 tsp

Chocolate chips 30g for batter and 10g to sprinkle

Method (preheat oven 180'c and line a rectangular baking tin with parchment paper)

1 cream butter till turn pale yellow and creamy

2 add in sugar in batches to cream into he butter till fluffy and light

3 add egg yolk one by one and mix well in circular motion then add in vanilla extracts

4 fold in flour and milk in alternate batches using spatula (flour in 3 batches and milk in 2 batches, flour being the 1st and the last). Ensure not over mix.

5 fold in chocolate chips

6 lightly pour into the baking tin and bang the tin few time to release air bubbles.

7 sprinkle Choco chips

8 bake at 180'c for 30 mins

Almond Crisps

I've made this Almond Crisp yesterday and as soon as it cool down, half of the fresh bakes were in RY and bb's tummy!

Yes, this is very yummy and easy to make too!

Ingredient

Plain flour 50g (sieve)

Butter melted 30g

Almond slice 100g

Vanilla extract 1/4 tsp

Egg whites 2 (each eggs weigh 64g with shell)

Castor sugar 60g

Method (preheat oven 180'c and line parchment paper on baking tray)

1 hand whisk egg whites till bubbles form

2 beat in sugar in circular motion till sugar dissolve 

3 add in vanilla extracts and mix well

4 add in flour till no traces of flour

5 fold in almond slices

6 add melted butter till well combine 

7 spread thin layer of the batter on the parchment paper and ensure no overlapping of the almond slices (I spread it over the big rectangular baking tray surface and cut into small pieces when it cool down)

8 bake in the oven at 180'c for about 20 min or turn golden brown

Last day in school

Last Friday was bb's last day in school as she'll go to a new one in February after our CNY trip from Ipoh.

Yes, we're changing bb to another sch because I don't really like the food menu there.

Weekly lunch menu includes hotdog, fishball, fish cake, chicken nuggets and crab stick and these are processed food which I seldom (actually never) give her at home.

However, the school still keep a place for her so that we can go back should she can't adapt to the new one.

To let bb bid goodbye to her friends and teachers, I've baked some Choco and blueberry muffins for her to distribute to them individually.

I've used the recipe in my blog but up the qty to 18 for each flavor to yield total 36 muffins.

On Thursday night, after putting bb to bed, I packed the muffins in a ziplock bag with a Thank You & Goodbye message stick on.

Homemade play dough

Yesterday I made these play dough for my baby.

Recipe

My simple recipe to yield the above 5 dough
2 cups plain flour
1 cup salt
2 cups water
1 tbsp cream of tartar
2 tbsp oil

Methods
Mix all the ingredient and boil (keep stirring) over low heat till all lump up together and the dough not sticky.
Wait till cool down then knead
Knead n add desired coloring (I used food colour)

After each play, place in zip lock bag and store in fridge to last for a couple of months.

If it dries up, just add some water and knead.

Discard if it turns moldy.

Very Sick!

I've been sick since Christmas Eve, in fact I was not feeling well since BB Rae's birthday since I'd stayed up through the night to complete her birthday.

On Christmas Eve morning, I rushed to Phoon Huat to get the baking stuff for the Christmas Oreo cheesecake and caught a cold there due to the blasting aircon.

My body temperature spike to 38.8'c on Friday and developed terrible sored throat.

I refused to go to doctor since I know I'd never take the antibiotic, so I endured the terrible body ache and sore throat till now.

My throat is still inflamed but is better then what it was 2 days ago and still have fever around 38'c.

I hope to get well by tomorrow to receive the new year!

It is my worst nightmare to fall ill with no help and still have to look after bb, do housework, cooks and clean etc.......

I get very depressed whenever I am ill........

Fear of a SAHM (with no help) is to fall sick!

Merry Christmas 2013

Bb Rae loves cake, just like mommy.

To make her a happy girl this Christmas, I've made her a Oreo cheesecake.

Home Bake Birthday Cake

This is my 1st attempt in making a cake with frosting and decor.

It is a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and fresh strawberry filling.